Myers-Briggs 16 Personality Types |
Erik Erikson |
He said:
"The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others"
*sigh*
It hits me every time I read it. In our daily aimless and obscure contributions to the society, which we herald as productive, we fail to see our own flaws. And it is that error 404 in our mind that deprives us of genuinely empathising with people who are suffering. Erikson, who had no academic qualification as a doctor or a counsellor, grew up with an identity crisis, which was one of the reasons why he coined that term in the first place. He felt he didn't belong where he was. He resented his mother for hiding his biological father's true identity. He was bullied because his appearance was different than that of the other kids. But he learnt psychoanalysis to understand his mental blocks and himself better and managed to become one of the most influential psychologists people would ever come across.
More often than not, the way we "tell" or "guide" our kids, does shape the way they view things later in life. Two decades back had you told me that social work is a cool profession, I would have laughed at your face because I was unaware of its existence. I was taught about social reformers in school but I was never taught what professions other than engineering, medical and teaching were. The kids today have the means to explore and indulge in areas of study like psychology, nanotechnology, astrophysics, forensic science, criminal justice, you name it, they can Google it and find it out for you. But again, it boils down to our inhibitions to allow them to do something that makes them feel accomplished and productive lest they fall into the classic 'you will not make money in this profession' trap. Interestingly, the people who do say this are perhaps the ones who have never taken a risk in their lives or quit after experiencing failure once. Such people are not worth listening to because they don't realise what all they're missing out on.
More often than not, the way we "tell" or "guide" our kids, does shape the way they view things later in life. Two decades back had you told me that social work is a cool profession, I would have laughed at your face because I was unaware of its existence. I was taught about social reformers in school but I was never taught what professions other than engineering, medical and teaching were. The kids today have the means to explore and indulge in areas of study like psychology, nanotechnology, astrophysics, forensic science, criminal justice, you name it, they can Google it and find it out for you. But again, it boils down to our inhibitions to allow them to do something that makes them feel accomplished and productive lest they fall into the classic 'you will not make money in this profession' trap. Interestingly, the people who do say this are perhaps the ones who have never taken a risk in their lives or quit after experiencing failure once. Such people are not worth listening to because they don't realise what all they're missing out on.
Luckily, I was born to a set of parents who valued education over everything else, who let me and my brother become avid readers, who always told us that being a good person will always count, who allowed us to make mistakes and learn from them, who comforted us when we had a setback, and most importantly, who knew whenever we were wrong but never threw that back to our faces (well unless we deserved that). But all of this mattered. Their acceptance mattered. Us knowing that they will have our backs mattered. And so when my brother and I went into a spiral of jumping from one field to the other, battling with our short phase of identity crisis, figuring out our 'purpose' in life, although skeptical at first, they never stopped us. And now when I look back and read Erikson's theory, I realise how much of it was practiced by my folks inadvertently and boy, they did well!
Today, I look at my middle school kids and I keep praying that if not taught the right thing, they are at least taught by people who allow their minds to run helter skelter. I want them to be taught by people who value imagination. I want them to be taught by people who model and promote empathy and compassion in the classroom. I want them to be taught by people who can talk to them boldly about racism, sexism, casteism, biases and stereotypes and consciously help them overcome those walls that others have built in their heads. I want them to be taught by people who tell them that they believe in them and that they will always be a call away. I want them to be taught by people who have faith in their own awesomeness so that they can tell my kids how awesome they are.